Initially, I planned on making a video down the road when I felt like I was in a good headspace. Then I question myself with:
Does anyone want to hear this
Is there ever going to be a good time for me to share my emotional trauma
I stopped questioning myself after a bit and told myself that this blog is about a journey. Tragedy is part of a journey and it’s magnified wherever you are mentally. Not only do I want to speak about my mom, but I wanted to talk about having a stroke and handling news that would cause anyone to drop to their knees. We have to be guarded a bit because we don’t want to set off another stroke. Then you feel guilty about thinking of yourself when someone is no longer there. It’s a stigma and needs to stop. You should never feel ashamed of how you feel, even if it’s selfish in your mind, you are sparring others with another tragedy.
This is long and it hits on different points. I hope that it helps someone out there struggling. Remember professional help is number one. Expressing your feelings and being vulnerable for others to see is okay.
This one means a lot to me.
Below the video are pictures of my mother and list of what made her wonderful.
Here are some pictures of my mom. The last picture is a cardinal she created. It was a reminder of her mother and now a reminder of mine.
My mom was an adorable child
2. High school picture
3. Married her best friend, my father. They have been together for over 50 years.
4. She loved to decorate cakes.
5. She loved to fish and have an adventure.
6. She loved her mom.
7. She had a sense of humor.
8. She loved to be sporty but also loved to dress up
9. She adored our adopted british siblings
10. She and I had an unbreakable bond.
11. She loved her precious dogs
12. She adored my father.
13. She was a gifted artist- the cardinal picture has special meaning
Overall my mom:
Was a tomboy since she was the only girl out of 5 kids
Loved to play in the dirt and bugs
Married her high school sweetheart (met in middle school)