Updated: Apr 20, 2020
It’s only been a little over two months, and yet it seems like a lifetime ago. My stroke has taught me things about myself, that I didn’t realize I had in me. Yes, I’ve been a fighter, high strung and tenacious, and those traits compartmentalized in my life at the right time to get me through the fight of my life. After, I found other traits like creativity, passion, more knowledge and love, empathy, letting go, mission, and a different kind of fight.
I write this, because in other blogs, I seem defeated, frustrated and angry. I don’t highlight, that even though this stroke was a monster, it was a gift too. Sometimes we need something catastrophic to hit us and open our eyes. Regardless, if you find yourself with a new appreciation, celebrate it. Show the world the new you, that way someone else can embrace this change and maybe you can be a beacon of help to someone that needs that extra push.
I don’t know what audience I’m hitting when I write these blogs. It could be loved ones or friends curious, or it could be a fellow stroke survivor searching for more information. Either way, I hope that I’m reaching out to you in a way that gives you pause, opens your heart, and gives you more understanding.
So, I sit here today, and I wonder what more I can do to reach out to a larger audience and is it something that I want to take on someday. Can I provide enough content to keep people engaged with my mission? Deep down in my soul it’s something I want to do. Yet, I’m not ready. As I stated, it’s only been two months after my two surgeries and I’m still learning my new normal. There will be a roller-coaster of emotions and getting back to a functional state. As we speak, I still haven’t started work, and that will be a whole different junket. In time, as I piece together parts of my life with this blog for the world to see, I will know when I’m ready to go out and speak and help people with experience and time under my belt.
So, until then, I will continue to keep everyone engaged with how I’m doing, what I’ve learned, and what I want to know more about (a whole section about that ready to come).
I want everyone to know that the Wendy everyone knew before still exists, but a part of me went away the night of the stroke. As morbid as that sounds, I like to say a better part of me of was born in in place. At least I would like to think so. I suppose in time I will see if this theory is true. My first test will come with how I handle stress. I feel Zen at this point, and other than stroke like issues, the outside world doesn’t stress me out anymore. The more exposed I am, I will see how I handle stress. Will I be calm, or will I be back to trying to figure it all out ready with my head to explode again. Time will tell, but I will make sure to keep everyone in the loop about this crazy journey.
In my next blog post I’m going to touch on the lack of information for adult VP shunt patients. It’s something any VP shunt patient is equally frustrated with.